Coaching Info
RECOGNITION
(this might be a bit 'old', but it is still amusing)
You know you're a football coach when:
After your team played their game at home, you stay to see the next 3 games.
All non work clothing has three stripes or an Umbro brand name.
You think about set pieces during dull meetings.
You spend the last hour of work planning the evening's practice session.
You write lineups and formations on napkins in restaurants.
You wake up in the middle of the night and scribble notes about a 3v1 possession drill that ends in a left-footed shot on goal. (First, no keeper, then a keeper.)
You use an elevator foot trap to stop a basketball going out of bounds at your daughters primary school game.
Wonder why your players can't do most of the things described by other coaches on the list.
Tell yourself, when your team is losing 5-0 and hasn't had the ball over the midfield line, that you are really more concerned with player development, that the players will learn from this, and that the other coach is just interested in winning anyway.
Tell yourself, when your team is winning 5-0 and the other team hasn't had the ball over the midfield line, that all that player development is paying off.
Someone asks how old your daughter is & you reply U10.
You find yourself saying "don't bunch up" whenever 3 or more people are close together.
You walk through the grocery store and some kid in every part of the store says hey coach !
You can recognise a coaches car because:
The rattle always turns out to be the footballs that got loose in the trunk again.
You have to tell your passengers to be careful when climbing over the corner flags when they enter.
You always have to drive alone because all of the car seats are filled with football gear and the hatchback is tied down to keep the footballs from bouncing out.
A whistle is permanently wrapped around the drivers side sun-shade.
You try to put groceries in the trunk and it is filled with football gear.
You can recognise a coaches credit card bill because it has:
$450 for a Coerver goal so you could practice your 3v3 team in your back yard
$250 for footballs so every kid at practice would have one
$200 for football videos so you could figure out the difference between a stepover turn and a Rivilino
$50 for little football patches that you give out for great plays
You know you're a football coach when you find yourself saying:
I really think 5 is a little young for Heather to be considered a "natural striker", Mrs. Walsh.
No, Mr. MacDonald, putting more air into it will not make it a #4 ball.
Yes, Derek, it really went a long way; but remember how we did the kickoff in practice?
Those are hockey shinguards, Liz. I think your brother is playing a trick on you.
No, Mr. MacDonald, that's a VOLLEYball. There most certainly IS a difference.
I think I need to explain the word "tackle" again, Derek.
